translated from Spanish: LGBTi harassment: “My colleagues ask me if they can see us while we have sex”

It is not comparable with the criminalization of same-sex relations that still persists in vari As parts of the world, but homophobia is also a problem in the so-called “developed world.”
A report released this week on the occasion of the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia revealed that more than two-thirds of LGTBI employees in the United Kingdom (68%) They have been harassed in their workplaces.
And that made several of them contact the BBC to share their experiences in that regard.
According to the research, coordinated by the Trade Union Congress, 42% of respondents said they had been subjected to unsolicited comments about their sex life by their co-workers.
One of these victims is “Sarah,” a 29-year-old nurse who told the BBC that harassment started while she was still studying.
“My mentor was very religious and did not accept homosexuality. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him about my girlfriend, but I didn’t accept it. She always referred to her as ´ my friend ´, “she counted.
Another mentor asked him if he wanted to start a family, but “he seemed angry and uncomfortable” when “Sarah” explained how she and her girlfriend had planned to have children.
According to the survey, 60% of the victims of harassment did not inform their employer.
“Sarah” said it was difficult for her to question her attitudes, because her qualifications depended on her approval.
And since graduating he has also been the victim of frequent comments or inappropriate questions from his colleagues at work.
“One laughed in my face when he saw me ordering dresses, saying I didn’t know lesbians wore women’s clothes. Then he asked to see a picture of my girlfriend and commented, ‘ I thought one of us had to be a tomboy ‘.
His male colleagues, in the meantime, have asked him if they can see her while having sex with his girlfriend, and “Sarah” claims that it is common for them to ask intimate questions about their sex life.
The nurse believes that most of the time this behavior is the fruit of ignorance and not of malice, but it says that it makes its work more difficult and often feels excluded.
“They tell me they can fix me up.”
Another victim, JT, says he has had to get used to bullying at work.
“Many men I work with, and also customers, have told me that they can ‘ repair ‘ me and become ‘ normal ‘. Some have even tried to force me to try to get it, “he says.
And inappropriate questions are also common currency.
For many, LGBTi couples remain “abnormal”.
“Once I had to spend my whole shift talking about my gender with a colleague. He said it was obvious that he only wanted to be ‘ special ‘ and that nothing was true. Then he got his mother to come and ask me a lot of questions, about my genitals, about sex, my relationships and about whether I was abused, “he says.
Some colleagues have also commented that JT’s girlfriend is “too pretty” for her, because nothing else should aspire to go out with a “Marimacha”.
And the girl says that it makes it difficult to be proud or to have confidence in herself, because they are constant reminders that people “see me as something that can change or ‘ look morbidly. ‘”
“If you don’t say anything, it encourages behavior and makes me feel uncomfortable constantly. And if I complain, they tell me I’m overreacting or that I’m making people uncomfortable, “he explains.
“There is no place for me to feel comfortable,” he laments
“Waste of women”
Helen, a psychologist who describes herself as a bisexual and is currently in a relationship with another woman, has also been through unpleasant experiences.
“I was recently ejercitándome in the office gym and two male colleagues were behind me. And one said, “What a waste of a woman,” she counted.
“Then, when I was leaving, one asked me, ‘ Is it because you’ve never been with a real man? ‘ They laughed and then they both whistled at me. I didn’t go back to the gym. ”
Helen also says that sexual harassment she has been a victim of has not only been verbal.
“I had to leave the office Christmas party because a colleague asked me to show him a picture of my partner. When I showed him my Facebook profile He said ‘ I would pay $100 for seeing them both ‘. That bothered me and he said, ‘ Don’t be sensitive ‘ while I slapped my butt when I was leaving, ‘ he recounted.
But Helen worries about the implications for her work of reporting such situations.
“I wonder what could happen to my reputation and my ability to promote if I report those incidents.”
Harassment of years
In fact, for some people who have suffered sexual harassment at work, the complaint has not made things easier.
“After a colleague found out that I was gay, he asked me how much he was charging. I reported, but nothing happened, “said Patrick,” who works in the public sector and claimed to have endured years of sexual harassment.
And in another instance, an investigation generated by one of his allegations, rather ended up making things worse.
We still have to keep fighting homophobia.
“My whole team was preparing for a day of retirement, which would involve different sporting activities,” said Patrick.
“And shortly before the retreat I was taken to an office and told that the others did not want to do the activities with me, because they would feel incómodoscompartiendo shower, so I would not go,” he said.
“I reported it and I was out of work for over a year, while investigating. And the investigation made my family realize my sexuality. ”
Patrick says that as a result he tried to take his own life twice.

Original source in Spanish

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