We have to give it our all for love. We have to put up with the worst things for the person we want by our side. Jealousy and obsession are part and there’s no way to escape the pain. All this taught us and so we learned that love is, among a thousand things, a cluster of damage to ‘tolerate’. Today is Valentine’s Day and while thousands of couples celebrate that they have each other, many women suffer the doctrine of romantic love in the worst way. The stories are not all the same and the structure of love, much less. What is quite similar is the descending line of this culture that teaches us the worst way of loving ourselves because, of course, it is very functional to a paradigm from which, through, we move slowly but hopefully away. The story of Ana Florence Torres demonstrates how this way of loving from control, stamina and possession, can end in the worst way. She met Edgar ismael Lucero during 2017 and in October of that year they decided to formalize. «Everything was nice the first month and a half. Then it all turned very bad because I always discovered messages where the groom was always made to other girls. I as a woman felt bad but he always made something up for me. Until in February 2018 I decided to get away from it,» he says.
That’s how my ex-partner beat me up, blaming me that I was causing him, and you know what I have to smoke now? Tell everyone those blows i was on my own, but you know what the worst part is? That there are people who believe him!3 complaints he has and walks down the street as if nothing pic.twitter.com/FP8TLsvGd9 — FLORENCE (@florcita12cab)
February 12, 2020
The violent and toxic relationships that «generate» romantic love have classic moments and quite a few clichés where, after a fight over, for example, jealousy, everything gets out of control. Another instance is when, after so much pressure or lapses of infidelity, one of the two people wants to move away from the bond and the other, which is generally responsible for the violence, refuses. Possession and the danger of being us
Not less than that 68% of femicides committed during 2019 were perpetuated by partners or former partners of the victims. Nearly 70% of the murders to females in our country occurred after the victim’s boyfriend or ex-boyfriend refused to part, was angry that she was with someone else or had a fight over sentimental issues. Anne Florence had round trips with Edgar but according to complaint, he scared her when they cut and after his insistence, they began to live together. During the discussions, the victim recounts, he always finished them with blows, at first not to her but to objects around her. «The first few months were all right we had fights like anyone else. But he always hit the wall. Or he broke things. He also glued himself,» he says. But as the months passed, Edgar’s alcohol and drug use became more and more common and fights set the tone up. Still, in that whirlwind of «passion,» he proposed to her and she agreed. «I did go on with him for thinking that capable he was sick from drugs and that he didn’t want to be like that. I was blind and didn’t see the signs. I didn’t listen to everything your friends or my family told me. But everything got better all at once and in July he asked me to marry him. I had already raised my hand, but I agreed to the proposal,» the victim says.» A lot of times he’d hang me and cover my mouth so he wouldn’t scream, because we lived at my mom’s. He always blamed me for the blows and told me that he was doing it for my sake, so that I would understand. If you ask me why I married him? I don’t know the answer yet, I try to understand myself. But the degree was manipulated that he had towards me I can’t explain it to you,» adds Anne Florence. Look what you’re doing to me»
When blows begin to manifest themselves in such bonds, lies and justification also begin. You have to put up with anything for love. That’s what they taught us. Then we hold on. We women endure the violence exercised because we often have fear, emotional or economic dependence that makes everything more complicated. «He beat me and I lied to everyone. I was telling them that the blows I had were because They had stolen me, or that I fell or that we were actually playing. On February 17 I think it was that we had a strong argument, I threw a can of beer on the floor and that’s when he got up angry. He hit me so violently, I almost lost an eye. Just my mom was there and she heard everything. He ran it. I had been left lying on the floor. He called the police and his parents. I went to make the complaint but they never did anything,» he says. Anne’s story looks a lot like a lot. Women who seek to escape but are manipulated. Love hurts, we were also told. We naturalize aggressive fights because passion is part and boundaries are blurred. «He passed a month, came back and apologized. We went to Brazil, we didn’t live together anymore, but we were still in a couple. one night he took too much and again the shit again. Everything remained the same until, one day, he saw me at the ball,» Florence says.In the bowling alley they crossed and Edgar, the victim denounced, hit him very hard. She, already fed up and tired, retaliate. «I’m honest with you, I got out of the dance, I went to his car and broke all the glass. I’ve never been able to defend myself from him before, it was the first time. And that was the only way I could find. Although it didn’t help because it was all covered by insurance,» he details. Weeks later, he apologized and while she succumbed to her words, it was short-lived. «He was an extremely jealous and very manipulative person. One day he came home at 4 a.m. very drunk and I threw him out because he was already falling into the reality that he did me a lot of damage not only physically but psychologically. He got angry, we were on the sidewalk, he grabbed me by the neck and started hanging me by covering my mouth so I wouldn’t scream. That day I almost fainted, until she let go of me and she cried out. I didn’t give any more. His manipulation and his words got into my head and I forgive him again,» admits Ana Florencia.De repeated endings and death threats
On December 12, after two years and months of this story that purported to be love and became a nightmare, it had a supposed end. She decided to finish and he, suspiciously, disappeared. But she returned months later in the form of, according to the victim, lies and allegations to harm her. «I decided to cut off every relationship because not only did it hit me but also fool me. I didn’t hear from him until I found out I was telling everyone that I was looking for him and that I wanted to come back. I texted him, telling him to stop making things up, and he, with what I sent him, made a complaint to me about threats and gun ownership. And that’s where it all started again. I know you want to because I study crime and in order to make a career I don’t have to have court cases. I just want this to end quickly,» he says. Florence lives in Cordoba and today is threatened with death. The allegations made seem to be of no use to you. Through social networks she decided to tell her story and from Filo.News we decided today, in the day of them you fall in love, to give her the necessary viability to be able to protect her and for the state to action. And also, while we’re at it, talk a little bit about the romantic love that does so much damage. Because if he’s ceasing you, if he abuses you or controls you, you have to be alert. Line 144 attends 24 hours and is worked by professionals who can help you, listen to you and accompany you in what you said to do. Love has to stop being a prison and become a beautiful place because, in short, it’s what we were told it was, isn’t it?