translated from Spanish: Quarantine couples: Are there more crises or more reunions?

Quarantine day by day can become much more difficult, or easier, according to how well we can adapt to this new way of life, unknown so far. A way of life that without hesitation maximizes your positive side and your downside. We often have peaks of emotions that we weren’t used to subjecting, in fact several emotions can become new to many of us, or at least little explored.
These emotions and feelings will not only change us as individuals, but also whoever we have next to or with whom we are maintaining a relationship, so be it at a distance. So the question is: What about couples in situations of social isolation? Obviously, as the graduate Beatriz Goldberg points out «you always have to take into account what kind of couple we are talking about». If we mean a type of symbiotic couple, a couple who are used to doing everything in two, we can say that «they will have less difficulty when it comes to living in quarantine», although if on the contrary they are in separate houses, perhaps this context will bring problems for them. Now, if we talk about those couples who usually have their individual routines very structured, coexistence can become the problem for them. In this case, the graduate recommends that everyone respect their times for each thing. If it is their turn to work, to do so in separate environments, as well as to train, read, etc., at different times and in different parts of the house, so that the reunion occurs later.

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«The important thing is that individual things and couples things can be done. It’s good that tasks are well divided in the home, for example,» Goldberg says, adding: «You have to combine spaces to be able to organize and it’s essential to have time with yourself.» If there are children, the children get a lot of attention. In this case apart from organizing the individual and couple spaces, it is also necessary to reconcile with the little ones. However, you must not neglect the couple, you have to find moments to be alone, not only in the sexual aspect, but also in the affective part, of chatting, and so on,» says the psychologist.

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But look, it’s not all black. «Sometimes crises cause certain things to wake up and aspects of the relationship to be overshadowed. They can be opportunities to improve the couple, to chat more, to share things in common because they have more time to be together,» Goldberg says. Not seeing yourself can make it «idealize what it is to be with the other», that «other types of flirtations are generated.» For example, virtual sex is recommended, although that will depend on what everyone is used to,» it never hurts to reinvent themselves anyway. And another big point is that «these moments when one is very mobilized by everything that is going on, are the key moments to accompany himself (as much as it is virtual), and in more than one case that companionship, that support, can become love, and even if they do not believe it form – potential – couples even being quarantined».

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So, in conclusion, everything is very relative, nothing can be certain in these cases, when in reality uncertainty is the one that reigns throughout the world. Whether there are more crises or more reunions will depend on how well we each are with oneself and how much we really want to respect, accompany and share with each other.

Original source in Spanish

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