Women now suffer quieter violence in Mexico

Women can be violated in common environments and in their daily interpersonal relationships, especially in the intimate circle of the couple. To get closer to the reality of violence experienced by women locally, Debate organized a survey in which some questions were asked about the perception of women’s experiences in their relationships. Half of them responded via social networks and by opportunity it was possible to obtain the response of the other fifty percent of participation face to face. The statistical exercise revealed that 60 and 57 percent of women who participated online and face-to-face, respectively, felt some to a lot of tension in their relationship (question 4). According to two mental health experts, Edith Robles Arredondo and Angie Arellano, both psychologists with a gender perspective, this presence of tension in more than half of the women in the survey could be reflecting the silent violence they are experiencing. Violence evolves into subtle forms According to both psychologists consulted by Debate, there is very little percentage of responses that indicate the presence of physical violence in the female population consulted, however, the survey responses related to feelings and situations between couples, indicated that women may be experiencing non-physical forms of violence, but no less important. It caught the attention of both Angie Arellano and Edith Robles, the fact that only a relatively low but very significant percentage of women have responded (both online and in the survey conducted on the street), that arguments in the couple can evolve into physical aggressions, such as blows, kicks or pushes (Question 8). Read more: “I wanted the best for women”: mother of feminist murdered in Guaymas, SonoraThe answer options to know the above, was many times, sometimes and never. 21 women out of 100 social media participants said that arguments with their partner evolved into physical violence from a few times to many times (13 and 8 percent, respectively), while in the face-to-face survey, this occurred in 20 percent of the participants (14 and 6 percent, respectively, for many times and sometimes). In the opinion of Angie Arellano, psychologist specialized in care and prevention of violence, the fact that there is less physical violence is due to the same evolution of violence, “now men do not hit, the issue of bodily aggression is more sensitized, so men looked for other ways to attack.” The expert added that physical aggressions are usually perceived as more serious than more subtle aggressions, as is the case of psychological abuse and therefore, men learned to attack women in ways not visible to the common eye.” When a woman came to file a psychological complaint or some other type of violence and did not present blows, they did not take the complaint because there was no way to manifest the aggression, “said Arellano. Then it was precisely for this reason that men evolved in their way of exercising violence, which although more veiled, are now recognized in legal environments. Communication problems On the other hand, for the psychologist Edith Robles, an expert in psychological expertise, the presence of something or a lot of tension in the couple that the women evidenced when answering question 4, is an indicator that things are not quite right, because in her opinion in a healthy couple relationship, the other is a source of security and tranquility. For her, the fact that women are leading arguments with their partners with some or a lot of difficulty also reflects the lack of ability to resolve conflicts and there may not be good communication. In addition, for Edith, the fact that in most couples the relationship has not changed during the pandemic (question 5), may signal a normalization of violence and therefore a difficulty in recognizing them, and not so much that this has not happened, because according to her, the statistics of calls to helplines for domestic violence in Mexico indicate something else. Women carry their couple conflicts with difficulty, since in the answers to question 6, the presence of some or many difficulties to resolve discussions exceeded the number of those who argue and resolve without difficulty: only 45 percent of women in the digital survey and 43 percent of women who responded in street and public places in Culiacán. Difficulty in resolutions In addition, when analyzing the answers to question 7, which inquired whether women felt down or bad with itAt the end of a discussion with the couple, it was also found that only 27 and 35 percent of the online and face-to-face participants, respectively, answered that never, and the rest accepted that sometimes it happened to them (47 percent on the internet and 37 percent in person) or that in fact they lived it many times (26 percent and 28 percent in interviews on networks and on the street, correspondingly). In this sense, Robles commented that the fact of ending up worn out or decayed from an argument, reflects that there was difficulty in resolving the conflicts.” If you end up tired and feeling bad, surely there was screaming, or some kind of violence in the communication,” she said. She added that women have to think about whether in that conflict resolution they are giving in to everything, they are keeping quiet without expressing their needs as long as they are no longer yelled at or discussed. If during an argument the person ends up tired or feeling bad, according to Edith, that would speak to the way in which conflicts are being resolved (question 6), and therefore it is important to take into account the processes of conflict resolution, communicate properly, have effective communication, with assertiveness, that is, express needs without offending the other person, without passive or aggressive communication, something that women are not experiencing, according to the survey. Question 9 was also interesting for the experts, it analyzed whether women were afraid of what the couple did or said. In this reagent, women participants said never in 71 percent, while 66 out of 100 women who responded online said the same. In the responses, feeling fear towards the partner, sometimes and many times remained like this: 29 and 5 percent for those surveyed online, while it was given in 25 and 4 percent for passers-by, respectively. When analyzing this way of responding, Angie Arellano, who is also a builder of safe spaces in an academic unit in Culiacán, commented that these fears can be linked “with the fear of abandonment, with the fear of the breakdown of the relationship, they do not necessarily feel fear that tensions can escalate to blows”, but this is not necessarily normal for her, because it reflects some kind of codependency and the difficulty in women to close a cycle and end a relationship, things that happen when there are abusive relationships: “there are women who generate syndromes of violence. If the person has lived a cycle of violence where he generated some syndrome, even if it is psychological, economic, patrimonial violence, if he has lived threats of some kind, then it is impossible for them to leave the couple, “he explained. For her part, Edith Robles, also a professor, reflected that the fear of the couple is a low percentage, however, she considered that the answer, sometimes, is also an affirmative answer. “If sometimes it scares you, it’s that it scares you, how am I afraid of my partner, if it’s my partner? The safe place is supposed to be the couple, a person who wouldn’t have to hurt you or trust that they won’t do anything to you. Being afraid of him sometimes, is even a little red flag,” she said, because she considers that the answer is partly explained by the normalization of violence, as when women who experience violence tell her in the daily life of their consultations: “‘Woe is that sometimes he gets angry, that’s how he is, but the other time is a love’, although when he got angry he threatened to run him, he threatened to kill him,” she said worriedly, assuring that there are few situations, but that put at risk the safety, life or tranquility of women. Of the women participating online, 65 percent did have a partner at the time of answering the survey, while in the participants face to face only 45 percent answered that they were paired (question 1). Of that total of women who did have a partner, 55 percent of those who answered the survey in networks said they lived with their partner, while 40 percent of those who responded in person, said the same (question 2). The women who answered the survey had variable times in their relationships (question 3). In this sense, both Angie and Edith pointed out that no matter how long they have been paired, women should be able to recognize violence in all its forms, even those that are more veiled and that are more subtle, “today they are with micromachismos, gaslighting, gosthing, for example. They are other ways of generating violence against women and they are of those invisible, silent forms that cannot be dimensioned,” said Angie. For her part, Edith ended with the following: “My recommendation is that women know more about what they are seenIn the couple, they know more about their rights and the laws, so that they can identify when something is not normal and act accordingly.” In the survey, some of the questions asked of women face-to-face, the pollsters reported observing signs of embarrassment in some women when answering the questions. The experts pointed out that it is possible that women have felt fear of being judged and therefore omitted to tell the truth, changed their response, so lower numbers are observed in some of them.   Read more: Emergency in Jalisco: 3 women murdered in less than 24 hours; all with signs of violenceForms of violenceDive forms of verbal aggression, the different forms of control, discrimination, harassment, omission or even silence and manipulation, are forms of violence that women and girls can suffer or suffer (UN Women).  Alessandra Rojo de la Vega responds to accusations: hugs in 25N were to stop violence

Original source in Spanish