In Love in Epidemics of Loneliness We saw loneliness plague almost half the world. I told you that Love is not an antidote, but it is a remedy that mitigates it. That is why I began to research, read and write about Love, moving away for a while from politics, ethics and other contingent pains. And first I wanted to talk to you about The Love of Desire (I), of passion, of the lover, of erotica in couples, which is one of several types of Love. Then we talked about The Disease of Love (II), and you saw how Hippocrates, Plato and Lucretius surprisingly described its germ, its infection, development and culmination, proposing and some cures. Among other things, Hippocrates as the first scientific doctor came to the conclusion that love (falling in love) was a type of madness and put it in the same bag of such diseases. Plato in his dialogues on Love also qualifies it as disease and madness, describing the stages of its evolution. Then we saw Lucretius, a remarkable physicist, poet and philosopher, but who goes a long way. It says that the pleasure of sex is lost if there is love, feelings or emotion. He recommends expelling the humors of sex to someone other than the one who caused the love wound. Plato does not go that far, because he says that the disease is contagious, so the lover should not lend his favors to anyone, but especially to the beloved (so as not to infect others). Then, following Lucretius for a moment, who affirms that sex is spoiled by love, because it makes you lose its delights, I put you in the dilemma Should you have Love without sex? Or sex without Love? Or both combinations at the same time? Strictly speaking, the first two combinations are compatible, and apparently there are very few couples who practice them in these times. But I tell you now that this triple dilemma is false. Because there is a fourth alternative, which is to have Love with sex, which by the way is the best and preferable. Despite what Lucretius, Plato and other greats say, I will become so giant and I will tell you it is not only the most preferable but the most satisfying, but not always easy. But there is also a fifth alternative, which is not recommended or wish on anyone, which is not to have Love or sex. I sense that it has grown a lot in the world. But I don’t know any data. But there is evidence about the high feeling of loneliness, and simultaneously we live in a society very demanded by work and in large hectic cities. There is also a large population that lives physically alone. These conditions certainly do not eliminate, but I believe they diminish the possibilities of Love and also of sex.
Let us continue groping through the Cavern of Love, as surprising as it is infinite.
And Ovid, what did he think? Another giant poet, contemporary to Catullus and something of Lucretius. Ovid wrote the Art of Loving in 1 B.C. He’s funny, ironic, playful, but he also seems to be serious. In Ars Amandi teaches us men how to seek the woman we should love; how to maintain that woman’s love for a long time; and to free women he teaches all the cunning to conquer a man and bind him for a long time.
Ovid’s advice is practical, some of which is valid today. I say that Ovid is not a strategist of love, but is a tactician. It recommends plays, tricks, short-term moves, positions to win battles in conquering and maintaining love, for both men and women. And from so much giving battles you can win the war of Love. Or have a strategy that we carry out with those tactics.
I will mention a few. To men, to look for the beloved, he proposes to follow the practices of hunters to find the best prey. You have to look for suitable women where there are many. Logical! Ovid offers to make things much easier, because he says that sometimes, “… the alien captivates the heart more than its own; The harvest of other people’s fields is more fertile, the neighbor’s herd has more milk-laden udders.”
It suggests the good use of wine in the conquest. He says that “it prepares hearts and passion comes earlier: thoughts vanish… Laughter arises and even the apocado takes on daring … In wines the flame of love joined the flame. But don’t trust the flickering light of the lamp too much: the night and the wine get in the way… The night blurs the defects… Women in the dark are all beautiful.”
That advice I think is valid for men and women, becauseand they also do not know very well with whom they get into Dionysian nights, of long glooms, dances and praises to the god Bacchus. And they end in agitations and rests on the sand, until dawn.
And what does Ovid advise the man to keep the woman for a long time? Bow down, definitely! Notice what this expert tells us: “By yielding you will be victorious. Do alone and always everything she wants. If he criticizes someone, criticize him too; whatever she approves, you approve too; whatever she affirms, affirm it…” Even when you play with it, let yourself win for it. If you want it to be yours, make it believe that you are stunned, bewitched by its beauty. Tell him that he “sets off fires” in his wake.
Would a current wise and expert advise you the same? I guess. Absolutely. It’s another thing to be able to apply the recipe! If you are a man, it is too much resignation, clouding reason, consenting to everything and closing your mouth. I believe that only great wise and eminent teachers could master the practice of this recipe. Perhaps there are other alternatives, when it comes to requests, opinions or impossible missions. One is to always say yes, but to do not whenever it suits in the light of reason, prudence and the common good. Another alternative is to always say yes, and then, in the aforementioned cases, let time pass until things resume their natural course. But young men should be warned that both alternatives are risky.
On male infidelity with the adulterous rival, Ovid warns that “not even the reddish boar is so furious in the impetus of his anger … as a woman burns who has surprised the adulterous rival in her husband’s bed: the indignation of her betrayed heart is furious…” That is why Ovid also calls man to be cautious if he is in bad steps: “Keep in mind that, if one day everything you hide is discovered, even if it is very clear, deny it categorically. Never be soft on this or reluctant… And give no respite to your unwavering posture.”
Are you a woman? What does Ovid advise you to conquer man, keep his love and bind him for a long time? Ovid pays great attention to the care of the body and the way of dressing, games, music, dance and all the qualities that can bind man. In this Ovid was really an expert. He put out a special book about it, if it’s male, white, hetero-patriarchal and first-century. It also gives “the Amazons” and the “warrior virgins” the weapons “to come down in parity and let him who is most dear to Venus triumph…It wouldn’t be fair for you to give naked battle against armed men; nor for you men, would such a triumph be glory.” What a Ovid! You were ahead of two millennia in gender equality and parity, at least in the weapons and battles of love! At least, great Ovid, you made a modest contribution to the feminist cause 2000 years ago.
Finally, I will convey a couple of important and beautiful tips from Ovid for women, which I think applies to men: “If you still can, if your body is still spring, enjoy life: the years pass like the waters of a river. The current that has already passed does not return, nor does the hour that has passed. Enjoy life: the envied age runs quickly and the one that comes is not as good as the one that was. Among those brambles I saw the violet, and in those thorns one day I picked a flower.”
What poetry for god Ovid! It has an air of the warnings that the philosopher Seneca makes us at the same time when he spoke to us about the brevity of life, and of the great poet Horace, also contemporary to them, in the Carpe Diem, he takes advantage of the day.
And here is another from Ovid with which I end, also applicable to men and women to pamper those who love: “You who are mortal, follow the examples of the goddesses! Do not deny your favors to those who love you with passion!”
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